Quamhamdog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, passionate swan.

Quamhamdog created Mount Everest eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamhamdog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamhamdog, he will turn you into a worm.

Quamhamdog's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Quamhamdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat shrews with great respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never feed garlic to ants while wearing magenta stockings.

5. Never talk about mites.