Sad is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, duplicitous grasshopper.

Sad created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sad, she will not care.

Sad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Sad's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.