Zimjenfly is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, competent mink.

Zimjenfly created a photon two years ago.

If you believe in Zimjenfly, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zimjenfly, he will manifest in front of you.

Zimjenfly's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Zimjenfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.