Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, generous hummingbird.

Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag.

2. Never mention dolphins.

3. Do not take Pangmistaplan Ruttarplag's name in vain.

4. Never feed figs to great tits while wearing yellow corsets.

5. Never play with disobedient children.