Wapquam is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humane fly.

Wapquam created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapquam, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wapquam, it will remove you from existence.

Wapquam's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Wapquam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must pray to Wapquam five times a day.

5. Never think ill of sick pigs.