Yarflamtan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish rhinoceros.

Yarflamtan created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarflamtan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarflamtan, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yarflamtan's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Yarflamtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Worship no other gods but Yarflamtan.