Vildavyim is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, dishonourable warg.

Vildavyim created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vildavyim, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vildavyim, it will turn you into a slug.

Vildavyim's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Vildavyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Run away from blue squirrels, for they are unholy.