Jabfutarf is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable slug.

Jabfutarf created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfutarf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jabfutarf, it will boil you in a big pot.

Jabfutarf's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Jabfutarf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.