Ditwonjam is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, smart wyrm.

Ditwonjam created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditwonjam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ditwonjam, she will cry a lot.

Ditwonjam's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Ditwonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ditwonjam.

2. Run away from yellow voles, for they are unholy.

3. Run away if six capybaras approach from the west.

4. Always obey Ditwonjam's priests.

5. Never sit in the presence of great tits.