Vanvondunmil is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, boastful mongoose.

Vanvondunmil created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanvondunmil, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vanvondunmil, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vanvondunmil's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Vanvondunmil's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.