Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty mink.

Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam created the planet Jupiter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam, it will turn you into a goat.

Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Xuctarsagvogjonfumsakgam on top of all buildings.

2. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.