Febwapveg is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent snail.

Febwapveg created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Febwapveg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Febwapveg, she will not care.

Febwapveg's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Febwapveg's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Never sing in the presence of squirrels.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Febwapveg loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

5. Always pray immersed in water.