Kemfadnel is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, weak tapir.

Kemfadnel created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kemfadnel, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kemfadnel, it will turn you into a snail.

Kemfadnel's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Kemfadnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Always help sick aardvarks.

4. Erect seven gold sculptures of Kemfadnel on top of important buildings.

5. Never eat garlic.