Tonfidtim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, omniscient skunk.

Tonfidtim created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonfidtim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tonfidtim, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tonfidtim's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tonfidtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Never wear brown scarves.

5. Never eat green fruit.