Donfetyim is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest swallow.

Donfetyim created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Donfetyim, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Donfetyim, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Donfetyim's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Donfetyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Worship no other gods but Donfetyim.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.