Cemsafnan Xembamjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, thoughtless dragon.

Cemsafnan Xembamjarn created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemsafnan Xembamjarn, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cemsafnan Xembamjarn, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cemsafnan Xembamjarn's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Cemsafnan Xembamjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cemsafnan Xembamjarn loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

2. Always help bats.

3. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.