Tarpbidpangbig is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart jellyfish.

Tarpbidpangbig created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbidpangbig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tarpbidpangbig, she will turn you into a worm.

Tarpbidpangbig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Tarpbidpangbig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tarpbidpangbig.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never feed bread to aardvarks while wearing black trousers.

5. Do not make images of living things.