Xuckyikwee is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, ill-tempered fairy.

Xuckyikwee created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckyikwee, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xuckyikwee, he will send you a sign.

Xuckyikwee's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Xuckyikwee's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about galaxies.

3. You must pray to Xuckyikwee nine times a day.

4. Run away from white mice, for they are unholy.

5. Do not cook food in pots.