Dotmatrap is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, uncaring fly.

Dotmatrap created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotmatrap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dotmatrap, she will send you a sign.

Dotmatrap's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Dotmatrap's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide if six snails approach from the north.

5. Never talk about gravity.