Kikgovgov is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, calm goose.

Kikgovgov created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikgovgov, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kikgovgov, it will ignore you.

Kikgovgov's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Kikgovgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of moths.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Kikgovgov.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not drink water in violet rooms.