Flatcadzog is a god.

He takes the form of a large, impressive otter.

Flatcadzog created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatcadzog, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flatcadzog, he will turn you into a tree.

Flatcadzog's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flatcadzog's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not take Flatcadzog's name in vain.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. You must pray to Flatcadzog five times a day.