Hattintaf is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, charitable camel.

Hattintaf created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hattintaf, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hattintaf, she will destroy your home planet.

Hattintaf's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hattintaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Run away from cyan birds, for they are unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.