Basscadgom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, stupid human.

Basscadgom created the world eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Basscadgom, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Basscadgom, he will turn you into a mouse.

Basscadgom's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Basscadgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Never feed cherries to grasshopers while wearing blue stockings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Hide if three bats approach from the south.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Basscadgom.