Jambogomin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, staggering dugong.

Jambogomin created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jambogomin, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jambogomin, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jambogomin's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Jambogomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of swans.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help doves.