Bonksidfot is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental squid.

Bonksidfot created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonksidfot, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonksidfot, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Bonksidfot's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bonksidfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near porpoises.

2. Always help ants in need.

3. Never hurt tortoises.

4. Do not kill bats.

5. Do not hurt goats.