Nabwikzed is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable hippopotamus.

Nabwikzed created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nabwikzed, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nabwikzed, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nabwikzed's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Nabwikzed's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a building before entering it.

4. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not drink alcohol.