Quimdossdob is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented crab.

Quimdossdob created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quimdossdob, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimdossdob, he will turn you into a tree.

Quimdossdob's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Quimdossdob's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always help ducks in need.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.