Ladfotneg is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, temperamental deer.

Ladfotneg created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Ladfotneg, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ladfotneg, he will turn you into a snail.

Ladfotneg's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Ladfotneg's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.