Bemcarpon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, wise meerkat.

Bemcarpon created the world two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemcarpon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bemcarpon, he will ignore you.

Bemcarpon's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bemcarpon's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.