Xingumtar is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, calm swallow.

Xingumtar created the planet Jupiter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xingumtar, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Xingumtar, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Xingumtar's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Xingumtar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xingumtar.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think ill of sick foxes.