Bessnibxen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able giraffe.

Bessnibxen created water five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessnibxen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bessnibxen, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bessnibxen's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bessnibxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect five titanium sculptures of Bessnibxen on top of important buildings.

3. Always help voles in need.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.