Begpopzen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent wombat.

Begpopzen created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begpopzen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Begpopzen, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Begpopzen's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Begpopzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Erect three silver sculptures of Begpopzen on top of important buildings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.