Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, impressive tapir.

Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Guncipsanddiss Fumlintam.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.