Vonjonnelbaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable giraffe.

Vonjonnelbaf created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonjonnelbaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonjonnelbaf, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Vonjonnelbaf's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vonjonnelbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.