Tarpdosslarg is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awesome seal.

Tarpdosslarg created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpdosslarg, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tarpdosslarg, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tarpdosslarg's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tarpdosslarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never talk about turtles.