Tikdudcan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, cheerful goblin.

Tikdudcan created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikdudcan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tikdudcan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tikdudcan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tikdudcan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Eagles are not to be trusted.

5. Never sing in the presence of mites.