Sawcitort is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, self-assured mongoose.

Sawcitort created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawcitort, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawcitort, it will not care.

Sawcitort's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Sawcitort's Holy Commandments

1. Sawcitort loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

2. Always help sick birds.

3. Retreat if eight tapirs approach from the east.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.