Rawpadwap is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ill-tempered gnu.

Rawpadwap created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Rawpadwap, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rawpadwap, he will turn you into a mouse.

Rawpadwap's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Rawpadwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Rawpadwap on top of all buildings.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.