Hotfabpig is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, astonishing pigeon.

Hotfabpig created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotfabpig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Hotfabpig, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Hotfabpig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Hotfabpig's Holy Commandments

1. Hotfabpig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Retreat if four gulls approach from the south.

4. Never feed cherries to capybaras while wearing black dresses.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.