Yarltarggid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, omnipotent swallow.

Yarltarggid created a photon eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarltarggid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarltarggid, he will send you a sign.

Yarltarggid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yarltarggid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Always obey Yarltarggid's priests.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. You must never eat bread.