Kontal is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless hippopotamus.

Kontal created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kontal, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kontal, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Kontal's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Kontal's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always help sick squirrels.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.