Kempigort is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, self-confident goose.

Kempigort created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Kempigort, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kempigort, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kempigort's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Kempigort's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never hurt cats.

3. Kempigort loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.