Tipcinfid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unselfish turtle.

Tipcinfid created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipcinfid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tipcinfid, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Tipcinfid's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tipcinfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tipcinfid's priests.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always help snakes in need.

4. Tipcinfid loves snails, so they must be respected.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.