Fubponfoss Stigpincun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, wise bird.

Fubponfoss Stigpincun created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fubponfoss Stigpincun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fubponfoss Stigpincun, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fubponfoss Stigpincun's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fubponfoss Stigpincun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Always look after injured cats.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must love Fubponfoss Stigpincun.

5. Fubponfoss Stigpincun loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.