Legtabhad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, temperamental horse.

Legtabhad created humankind eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legtabhad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Legtabhad, he will turn you into a snail.

Legtabhad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Legtabhad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat melons.

2. Never feed corn to sharks while wearing brown boots.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.