Linvegrig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, passionate spider.

Linvegrig created tapeworms six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linvegrig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Linvegrig, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Linvegrig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Linvegrig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Linvegrig loves rats, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.