Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, sapient frog.

Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw, she will turn you into a mouse.

Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Ontfidhudmegdannurlwigsaw on top of all buildings.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about black holes.