Yartarmcissgan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, happy dragon.

Yartarmcissgan created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartarmcissgan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yartarmcissgan, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Yartarmcissgan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yartarmcissgan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shave your hands.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

4. Never think ill of sick badgers.

5. Never play with disobedient children.