Laparpbotren is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, awe-inspiring deer.

Laparpbotren created the Andromeda Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Laparpbotren, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laparpbotren, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Laparpbotren's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Laparpbotren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.