Watmatzan Rathabveen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fussy pig.

Watmatzan Rathabveen created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Watmatzan Rathabveen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Watmatzan Rathabveen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Watmatzan Rathabveen's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Watmatzan Rathabveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick eagles.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Never run in the presence of aardvarks.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. You must pray to Watmatzan Rathabveen three times a day.